Embrace struggle

„Embrace struggle. While almost all yogis struggle with the poses, the struggle is meant to be a teacher. Wherever you meet your challenge is where your yoga begins.“

(Kino McGregor)

This is not only true when it comes to yoga, but exactly the same off the mat. When accepting this while practicing, the next level is to integrate this approach – or is it an attitude? – into the rest of our lives. 

My call was yesterday. Early morning, my home office desk packed with two laptops and two mobiles and I put my cup filled with hot lemon water on the desk. You guess right…. somehow my hand sticked to that cup when I turned…. yup, my work laptop received a hot bath, while everything else just got a bit wet. I stayed surprisingly calm, but hesitated slightly what to rescue first. It was a disaster. The entire desk turned into a pool. After drying everything, it didn’t seem to be too bad, all was working. Well, for 5 minutes. The screen started flickering and boom, dead. My day packed with meetings and no work emails or work chat on my mobile. I couldn’t tell anyone. Baaam.

IT wasn’t much of a help, as they deal with PC, not Mac. Plus, home office doesn’t really support any quick fix here.

Embrace the struggle. What was it teaching me? That I should get my work emails on my phone? Eventually. What else? To stay calm. To figure out, what I can do, accept what I can’t. The world will continue moving anyhow. My old me would have panicked, making a huge noise, driving everyone mad…. somehow I managed to stay calm, even understanding those who could not help at all or reacted a bit shitty. Overall grateful for an idea that somehow lead to the next and the next and finally to a new laptop. 

Later in the evening, when I kind of collapsed on my sofa, I felt this internal restlessness and it took me hours to release. The effect of keeping countenance all day long. Of practicing yoga all day. Yes, yoga off the mat.

Today I laughed about it. Even though I lost many files and notices. So what. I can’t change anything about it. I’m proud that I managed this challenging situation this way. My yoga is paying off. Very grateful. 

Make space

I have to admit, even if I’m preaching it, sometimes I have to shout out loud, that being on my mat isn’t all that counts. From time to time – particularly when struggling or even being thrown back in certain postures – I need to tell myself “don’t define your practice through asanas!”. Yoga has become my way of life and it should be honored as such.

The older I get, the more difficult it is to keep balance. The balance in my asana practice reflects my balance in life. Too many duties and instead of stepping back, I have more ideas and put myself in situations where even little things all of a sudden get massive. More, faster, running, rushing through life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I love what I do, I love my life, however body and mind also need to rest and recharge.

And that’s my challenge: make space for myself. To not rush from one task to another, but implement mindfulness instead. Do what I teach! Particularly to not reduce my own practice to quickly do the primary series, to press it somehow into my busy schedule. It’s not about the practice itself, but making space for myself. When on my mat, practice passionately, aware, dedicated. Not just tick the box. Make space and allow myself to be there, in the moment, nothing else.

How about you? Are you properly caring for yourself? What helps me a lot in general, but particularly when going through tough days, is implementing regular short breaks to focus on my breath. Just that. As soon as I breathe deep into my belly, I’m back. I’m reconnected after just some minutes. Easy and very efficient. Give it a try!

I have to learn to be more patient with myself, fully accepting that progress sometimes means to step back. The transformation my life has undergone is sometimes not even recognizable, sometimes it’s rather a big break through. So I keep on moving, trust in me, trust in my magic.