Tag: struggle

Embrace struggle

KathrinLeave a comment

„Embrace struggle. While almost all yogis struggle with the poses, the struggle is meant to be a teacher. Wherever you meet your challenge is where your yoga begins.“

(Kino McGregor)

This is not only true when it comes to yoga, but exactly the same off the mat. When accepting this while practicing, the next level is to integrate this approach – or is it an attitude? – into the rest of our lives. 

My call was yesterday. Early morning, my home office desk packed with two laptops and two mobiles and I put my cup filled with hot lemon water on the desk. You guess right…. somehow my hand sticked to that cup when I turned…. yup, my work laptop received a hot bath, while everything else just got a bit wet. I stayed surprisingly calm, but hesitated slightly what to rescue first. It was a disaster. The entire desk turned into a pool. After drying everything, it didn’t seem to be too bad, all was working. Well, for 5 minutes. The screen started flickering and boom, dead. My day packed with meetings and no work emails or work chat on my mobile. I couldn’t tell anyone. Baaam.

IT wasn’t much of a help, as they deal with PC, not Mac. Plus, home office doesn’t really support any quick fix here.

Embrace the struggle. What was it teaching me? That I should get my work emails on my phone? Eventually. What else? To stay calm. To figure out, what I can do, accept what I can’t. The world will continue moving anyhow. My old me would have panicked, making a huge noise, driving everyone mad…. somehow I managed to stay calm, even understanding those who could not help at all or reacted a bit shitty. Overall grateful for an idea that somehow lead to the next and the next and finally to a new laptop. 

Later in the evening, when I kind of collapsed on my sofa, I felt this internal restlessness and it took me hours to release. The effect of keeping countenance all day long. Of practicing yoga all day. Yes, yoga off the mat.

Today I laughed about it. Even though I lost many files and notices. So what. I can’t change anything about it. I’m proud that I managed this challenging situation this way. My yoga is paying off. Very grateful. 

Struggles

KathrinLeave a comment

This year is a challenge for many and it is for me. No, this isn’t another covid post, my challenge is a different one. It’s seems to be the year of pain for me. It all started when I broke my ribs in February. After months of recovery, the other side of the ribs made trouble. Not broken, but bad pain. Recovery again. And a third time. It’s end September and I’m still not fully through it. Exhausting. 

Additionally my leg plays games with me, that bad, that some days even walking becomes a problem. I had a bad accident about 25 years ago and my leg likes to remind me here and there, but not as bad as it does now.

How does this affect my yoga practice? A lot! I had to step back from a 5-6 days Ashtanga practice to „let’s see what I can do“. From absolutely nothing, followed by a bit of yin yoga to a modified Ashtanga practice, and backwards and forwards. A mix which is difficult when used to a rather strong Ashtanga regime. I always liked yin, it’s a beautiful change and add on to the Ashtanga world, however, being forced into something isn’t the same.

I’m suffering on the mat. 

Physically due to the pain and trying to gently figure out where to stop and not overdo, but also find the right level of challenge. To not forget the mental dimension, thoughts such as „I will never make it to where I was“, „I can’t do it“, „my body get’s weaker and weaker“, you name it. Same time, I also feel grateful that I still can practice! Unfortunately this doesn’t stop those slamming thoughts. 

There are these days, when I practice, even with modifications, and just feel happy. Yes, I’ll be back soon. It’s a damn rollercoaster.

I’m suffering off the mat. 

Physically due to a lack of strong practice, all of a sudden my hamstrings complain a lot, guess they thought, great, let’s go on holidays forever! Well, many muscles, tendons and joints tell me, you should have relaxed on the sofa, let’s get rid of that mat!

At the end, this makes me rather laugh, this is the „sweet“ pain. It’s my mind bothering me more. „Give it up, you just can’t do it anymore“, „at your age, go find something matching“. But also thoughts like „you don’t have any discipline anymore“, „you don’t have any will, you’re just weak“, „you should have done this“, „you’re so lazy“….

All my challenges show me how important my practice is, physically and mentally, and yes, I will continue, no matter how difficult it is, as giving up has never been an option.