Freedom 

The older I get, the more does my yoga practice change. No, I’m not talking about anything I can’t do anymore, on the contrary, I’m taking about freedom.

The freedom to decide what it means to dedicate myself to a daily practice. Yes, it means to show up. No, it doesn’t mean to practice the full primary series 6 days a week. Well there are weeks when I do exactly this, but the difference is, my dedication is to practice yoga in a way that suits my body needs that particular day. 

This means letting go of bondage. I do practice on my mat daily. Without feeling guilty to listen to my body and do exactly what I need that moment. Mindful practice without forcing myself. Some days this might mean practicing yin yoga. Others I might do some sun salutations and a simple flow to get my body long and stretched. It can also mean to just sit in stillness and meditate. Challenging enough! And still most days, I do the full primary series. Some days I think, let’s do a slow flow following some matching music, while some time later I recognize that I’m in the midst of my Ashtanga practice. And it feels great to just move without thinking, led by my body, doing what I love.

I also let go of the need to master advanced postures. I know they will come anyhow when I’m ready. Working on them without pressure and the need to follow the crowd. This too is yoga.

This is what I call freedom. It’s my practice and I stopped judging me. No labels needed, it’s just that, yoga. This is my way to create space in body and mind.

 

Photo by Nadja Kappeler

Make space

I have to admit, even if I’m preaching it, sometimes I have to shout out loud, that being on my mat isn’t all that counts. From time to time – particularly when struggling or even being thrown back in certain postures – I need to tell myself “don’t define your practice through asanas!”. Yoga has become my way of life and it should be honored as such.

The older I get, the more difficult it is to keep balance. The balance in my asana practice reflects my balance in life. Too many duties and instead of stepping back, I have more ideas and put myself in situations where even little things all of a sudden get massive. More, faster, running, rushing through life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I love what I do, I love my life, however body and mind also need to rest and recharge.

And that’s my challenge: make space for myself. To not rush from one task to another, but implement mindfulness instead. Do what I teach! Particularly to not reduce my own practice to quickly do the primary series, to press it somehow into my busy schedule. It’s not about the practice itself, but making space for myself. When on my mat, practice passionately, aware, dedicated. Not just tick the box. Make space and allow myself to be there, in the moment, nothing else.

How about you? Are you properly caring for yourself? What helps me a lot in general, but particularly when going through tough days, is implementing regular short breaks to focus on my breath. Just that. As soon as I breathe deep into my belly, I’m back. I’m reconnected after just some minutes. Easy and very efficient. Give it a try!

I have to learn to be more patient with myself, fully accepting that progress sometimes means to step back. The transformation my life has undergone is sometimes not even recognizable, sometimes it’s rather a big break through. So I keep on moving, trust in me, trust in my magic.