Yoga saved my life

This is a bold statement. I don’t even know if this is right or wrong, but I truly believe it kind of saved me.

What a year! No one could have predicted all the collective obstacles we’re facing, not to mention the individual ones. I see them as life lessons and new opportunities. 

Additionally I found myself this year in a very challenging situation in my job, which grew over months into a massive work overload. The stress factor wasn’t just 14 hours work per day and also the last weekends, but the fact that I had and have full responsibility, not knowing if I can manage it and all the effort and struggle will pay off. Pressure on me!

I faced the peak almost 2 weeks ago, when my body started internally shivering and I just thought, gosh no, I’m 2 steps away from burning out. Breathe. Trust. Relax. One more week to go. I can do this. And I did. 

So what’s this about yoga? In this stressful time, I kept on practicing every day. Almost. It was nearly impossible to get up in the morning, so I rarely managed to do the full practice, but I was on the mat, no matter what. This was the little me time I had before I jumped into the next crazy day. My practice made my day. It gave me focus and strength and yes, helped of course my body to move and deal with the many hours of sitting. 

But it was much more. Breathing, feeling my body, being with me, connected. I always start my practice in childs pose. The knees wide, so I can relax and merge into the posture. This already is the moment of ahhhhhhhhhhh. When lifting one leg up in down dog, I hear the joints cracking, hello, wake up! The opening prayer, the series, no matter how much of it, makes me feel so good…. 

In extreme times we can notice even better what the practice does for us. Physically and mentally. Just keep on going, no matter what.

Stillness

Is there a difference between stillness and meditation? Is it the same? Is it finickiness? Honestly, I don’t care, for me, there’s a difference, as I don’t have the same expectations when talking about stillness vs meditation. A different approach.

This is how I start my practice, and even if I don’t practice, I rarely miss this moment, my moment of stillness, my moment of deep connection, my moment of emptiness. It’s a readjustment for me, kinnda back to neutral.

This is how I practice stillness:

On my mat, going into childs pose, with my knees mat distance, big toes together. Allowing my hips to open, my ribcage to settle between my legs, my chest sinking down onto the mat. Couple of deep breaths, slow down, opening, letting go. Feeling pureness, just me, nothing else. All that comes to my mind is an animalistic sound, „ahhhhhhhhhh“….. a moment where it’s easy to eliminate any thoughts. It’s also a moment of honesty, I can just be myself and experience what’s going on with me. No matter what.

A perfect preparation to teach a class. A perfect way to start my practice, it feels neutralizing, I easily forget about the day, don’t care what’s on the schedule, just this moment, my practice. It’s magic.