Tag: injury

Struggles

KathrinLeave a comment

This year is a challenge for many and it is for me. No, this isn’t another covid post, my challenge is a different one. It’s seems to be the year of pain for me. It all started when I broke my ribs in February. After months of recovery, the other side of the ribs made trouble. Not broken, but bad pain. Recovery again. And a third time. It’s end September and I’m still not fully through it. Exhausting. 

Additionally my leg plays games with me, that bad, that some days even walking becomes a problem. I had a bad accident about 25 years ago and my leg likes to remind me here and there, but not as bad as it does now.

How does this affect my yoga practice? A lot! I had to step back from a 5-6 days Ashtanga practice to „let’s see what I can do“. From absolutely nothing, followed by a bit of yin yoga to a modified Ashtanga practice, and backwards and forwards. A mix which is difficult when used to a rather strong Ashtanga regime. I always liked yin, it’s a beautiful change and add on to the Ashtanga world, however, being forced into something isn’t the same.

I’m suffering on the mat. 

Physically due to the pain and trying to gently figure out where to stop and not overdo, but also find the right level of challenge. To not forget the mental dimension, thoughts such as „I will never make it to where I was“, „I can’t do it“, „my body get’s weaker and weaker“, you name it. Same time, I also feel grateful that I still can practice! Unfortunately this doesn’t stop those slamming thoughts. 

There are these days, when I practice, even with modifications, and just feel happy. Yes, I’ll be back soon. It’s a damn rollercoaster.

I’m suffering off the mat. 

Physically due to a lack of strong practice, all of a sudden my hamstrings complain a lot, guess they thought, great, let’s go on holidays forever! Well, many muscles, tendons and joints tell me, you should have relaxed on the sofa, let’s get rid of that mat!

At the end, this makes me rather laugh, this is the „sweet“ pain. It’s my mind bothering me more. „Give it up, you just can’t do it anymore“, „at your age, go find something matching“. But also thoughts like „you don’t have any discipline anymore“, „you don’t have any will, you’re just weak“, „you should have done this“, „you’re so lazy“….

All my challenges show me how important my practice is, physically and mentally, and yes, I will continue, no matter how difficult it is, as giving up has never been an option.

Rest

KathrinLeave a comment

Rest. Oh. My. God. Once again I’m forced to rest. Not being able to move properly, but put down to rest, is the most difficult thing for me. There’s always something I have to do. I want to do.

It’s almost two weeks now, two broken ribs and obviously I can’t practice. Filled with painkillers, issues to sit, stand, lay down. Not even a gentle yin or restorative practice.

Well, it’s just broken ribs! Nothing major, it will heal. I deal with it. Honestly, it’s quite new for me to not overreact and be angry with the world. Instead, I’m very grateful that I’m healthy, it’s just broken ribs. 

As Yoga has become a life elixir, important for both body and mind, it’s a challenge to not be able to practice at all. Yoga is my choice to move out of my head and into my body. Now my patience gets tested. I know, I don’t have much of that! I have experienced these kind of tests quite a few times, but I feel this time is different. Maybe the practice works out. I feel somehow at peace, I can’t change anything, so I accept. And I will slowly go back into practice. Starting with meditation, followed by some gentle yin and extend wherever I can. Careful, mindful, grateful. 

All I have to do right now is to allow myself to expand into possibility, even if there are a few pains along the way. It might be more about spiritual practice at this time and learning to face resistance with kindness.

The picture shows a card of @the_moondeck

Be patient yogi

KathrinLeave a comment

A difficult word for me. Patience. I’m that quick type of person…. doing everything now, all at once… Injuries hit us usually the moment it hurts most, to get our full attention. Telling us to stop. Whatever we are doing.

On a physical level, it’s not just about stepping back, doing what is possible. Nope. It’s a sign to stop fully. Listen. Look. Understand. It’s about learning the tough way. There’s another level. An injury is never just physical, but also mental. Healing can’t just happen physically. And that’s the difficult part. Trying to understand, why. What’s wrong right now? What’s holding me back, what’s actually not good, not healthy in my life? What are the side effects of the injury? What movements are not possible? What about breathing? This tells us more about where to look at. What are the consequences? Do they matter? Eventually, there’s a person around mirroring? Ups. Be honest with yourself yogi. Once identified, let go. Detach. Say bye bye. What ever is required, do so. You need your health. You need your peace.

I’m back on the mat now, restarting carefully. Yin Yoga only. I miss my Ashtanga practice like hell, but even demoing in class is not good for me. I don’t stop trying to figure out what’s behind. I know there’s more, I know my body talks to me. I’m getting better in understanding. And I’m rebuilding my practice step by step, developing a practice of patience.

There’s no way to rush the growth of a tree

Kathrin2 Comments

My Visa arrived! Huuurraahhhh! Just a couple of weeks and I’ll be back in India for the next level teacher training. This time I know the place, the teachers and it feels a bit like coming home. When looking at the pictures people are posting from there, it warms me up internally, I’m filled with gratitude and peace.

It will be once again a huge challenge, for body and mind. It will be life changing once again. And I’m looking forward to it!

I want to be prepared as best as I can. Meaning reading and doing my asana practice 6 days a week. I haven’t expected not being able to do so. Since some weeks, my body refuse any, well let’s say cooperation. A little injury here, issues there. Terrible pain forced me to leave the mat after some minutes recently. Interestingly it was quite similar last time before traveling to India. What stops me to prepare myself properly?

Hello ego. My ego is driving me. Telling me, „you must be fit. You must be better. You will fail when you’re not able to do at least these postures. You’re not good enough right now“.

Even if I’m usually practicing gentle, listening to my body, respecting the limitations of the day, I’ve got something sitting in my neck right now, pushing me with fear. My practice turned into mastering postures, instead of being a mindful flow.

So my main task right now is telling my ego to jump in the lake and implement the believe of ‚I am good enough exactly as I am‘. Practicing to release and let go, while accepting when my body says no. The best preparation seems either to pamper my body, instead of pushing hard.

This is what Krista Shirley, an authorized level II teacher of traditional Ashtanga yoga, advises Ashtanga practitioners (love no 3!):

  1. Love yourself where you are
  2. Don’t take yourself too seriously
  3. Go to India as soon as you can
  4. Don’t question; just do
  5. Take your day of rest each week
  6. Bring awareness to your latissimus dorsi muscles in nearly every asana. For women this is an especially vital understanding
  7. Wash your feet before you take practice, everyday

Be careful yogis, never work against your body. Feel what you’re doing, be mindful and treat yourself with love.

India, I’m ready.