Tag: India

Mama India

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A week ago I arrived in Goa and can hardly express my feelings. It‘s been 7 years that I was here last time. So much changed, but not the mood, the energy and the lovely people. I still love all the smells here (ok, almost all), the food, the heat, although it‘s winter here. Which for me only means less humidity and eventually a bit chilly at night.

Usually it takes a while to settle after traveling for almost 24hrs, but this time, apart from the lack of sleep, I felt being there instantly. My mind calm, without the usual chatter and hearing the waves day and night was just pure bliss.

I had such a beautiful week at the beach with a friend I know from here and we only met now again. A week filled with loads of talks and laughter, many drinks, amazing food, sand and salty water. Thank you hon for your time and company, I miss you already!

Now I changed places, and with the new moon a new start into a week full of yoga with the teacher I learned it all from. It‘ll be tough, age kicked in some time ago and my body pushes back. Something I have to accept and handle mindfully. And same time getting fully back into the discipline of Ashtanga yoga.

Thank you mama India for calming my mind and letting my heart jump! Grateful to be back and I promise, I‘ll be never again that stupid to come here for two weeks only 😅

Life is jingalala!

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Almost 6 years ago. Not sure if I should say already or just. I feel both. It’s like another lifetime and same time as if it was yesterday. The moment my life changed. I went to India to learn more about yoga, not just the postures, but the philosophy. I came back renewed from the inside out. Knowing, this was only the beginning. One and a half years later I went again. Better prepared, but once again, I experienced a huge challenge. 

Even if I started teaching yoga back then, I tried to keep any other changes to myself. Not giving up my job or anything else what I called my life. Over the years this became more and more absurd. A combination that seem to not work any longer. But I kept on going. More learning to be able to integrate this better into my life and my job. My purpose was – and still is – to see the change in people. This beautiful transition into a shining face, the moment they show their true beauty. 

The last days I was once again sitting with my teacher from India, listening virtually to his lectures and practicing together. I wrote about it here. A breakthrough when it comes to my meditation practice and once again the start of something else. I feel the change, not that obvious, but something is going on inside. And I love it. The steps on that journey to my true self became bigger, I can see a glimpse of it, I already touched it. I can smell the ocean, hear it, I can feel the salt on my skin. Not ready yet to be one, to be the ocean, but I know I will. Practice is all it needs. And with this, discipline. I know the path, I’m already going. I’m already connecting.

Life is jingalala!

Sit

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Practice, practice and all is coming. It has never been that true. For me.

When I sit in the morning these days I don’t see the rising sun over the ocean. I don’t feel her warmth in my back. I’m not in India. Same sun, different place.

I’m connected again. Currently, I’m sitting with my dear teacher every morning – I’m so grateful we have the technology, which blows distance away. 

Sitting together in silence and listening to his teachings – after 6 years, this well known voice still makes my heart smile. The difference now is, that I’m not new to these things anymore and much more open. Open to listen, to receive, to accept, without the burning need to understand every single detail. Just let it soak in, take it as it is. When there’s a need for an answer, it will come. There’s so much more to learn and I’m ready.

Thank you for doing this for us Upendra, it means the world to me. What a timing…. But hey, everything comes when it’s the right time, isn’t it.

My heart is filled with gratitude. The challenges of this time also bring some flexibility in planning our schedules and giving me the opportunity to do this. Thanks, thanks, thanks.

Do you pray?

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I never used this term, as I related it to religion and I thought, people pray in a church, mosque, temple or on their own to their god. I even had issues with the term god, as I don’t belong to a religion and don’t believe in god. 

Even if this is still the same, my attitude made a full turn-around when I went to India for my teacher training first time and saw how open and easy people deal with their gods (yes they have more) and how they pray. I learned about the Hindu gods, and I love all the stories around them, colorful and beautiful analogies. And I like that they have a name, a family, a face, a body, certain things around them and everything is representing something important in life. Everything and everyone has a story to tell. They seem real. Even with a lot of arms and other magical attributes.

India took away the strictness and tightness I saw in religion as such and showed me a world full of openness, laughter, ease and same time seriousness. I learned to put my hands in prayer in front of my heart center during my yoga practice and nothing felt wrong with it. It wasn’t religious, it felt and still feels as a ritual.

However I still replace the term god with universe when reading a spiritual text and I still don’t pray, but strongly believe, it’s just a matter of definition. I recite mantras, I talk to the universe, I challenge the law of attraction, I ask and give thanks to my angles.

Well, guess some would call it praying. 

yes yes yes

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When I arrived in India for my first teacher training, I faced this plate next to the door of my room. Pincha Mayurasana was all I saw. I started panicking…. was I supposed to do this? I mean, my aim was NOT becoming a yoga teacher, I did this training just to soak up all about yoga. Well, that’s what I thought. You know quite well, I was damn wrong, as I started teaching right after my first teacher training and nothing can stop me since 🙂

Back to Pincha Mayurasana. In times of Instagram yogis, it takes some courage to state what we can’t do, rather than posting fancy postures only. Thanks god I always had amazing teachers, who never pushed, but teached. I learned, that being a good teacher doesn’t require that I can do all postures in perfection. Plus, yoga is not just postures, it’s so much more – but that’s a different story! Finally, teaching is not about me, it’s about my students.

However, some months ago, I decided to work on handstand and forearm stand. I knew the technique very well, I was strong enough, but fear still stopped me. I know I have to learn slowly, as it is all about building trust. Learn how a posture feels, what happens in the body and what my mindset has to be. I focused on handstand for some time and a few days ago, I tried forearm stand once again. My work paid off, it was much easier than before. And today is the day, the first time, I managed to bring my feet off the wall in pincha. OMG. Even if only some seconds, this was a major breakthrough, as now I know that I can do it. Now it’s just a matter of practice, but I’m already there.

Once you master a posture, look back. What did the process teach you? It’s not about the posture any longer, but how you changed, what you’ve learned on the way and what you are able to do. Honestly, I believe this way of slow learning is much more beneficial than just hopping into postures by default. It’s telling me a lot about life and about myself. A process so worth it!

 

 

Meditation vs meditation

Kathrin4 Comments

I read a lot about meditation. I took lessons. I did the 30 day challenge with Deepak and Oprah. I tried. Again and again. I failed. Again and again. Struggling with my feet falling asleep, my back complaining. Struggling with the feeling, that I simply can’t do it. Due to all the benefits of meditation, I couldn’t accept to not doing it. It was a catch 22.

My philosophy teacher in India was referring to the rising sun in his meditation lessons. He always said ‚I am the rising sun. I am shiva‘. I had to smile, it was kind of matching the situation, but I didn’t understand.

One day when doing my Ashtanga practice, I managed to focus that much on my breath, that my practice was nothing but intense deep breathing, while my body moved through the asanas. This felt so amazing and my only thought after practice was, THIS is meditation! A moving meditation.

This experience made me look closer to my definition of meditation: sitting in stillness, getting rid of all thoughts, calming down, release, finding peace within.

It was this definition, that was holding me back from meditating. Yoga is union and this is where meditation starts for me. Unite with myself. Going internal, connect with my breath. BE my breath. Feeling my love in my chest. Feeling the sun rising in me. Let it spread, let it shine. Being the rising sun. This deep connection is my meditation. And the journey to it is breath.

It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing. It might happen while practicing, or walking my dog. I might be sitting, lying down, or cooking. It might take a couple of seconds, minutes or hours. It doesn’t matter.

There is no right or wrong. This is how I meditate. Your experience might be totally different. But if you are struggling, maybe this is some inspiration for you.

These are MY moments. My silent moments, my deep connection to myself. My meditation. My moments when I am SHIVA.

Next level

Kathrin4 Comments

Puh. Whatever this means! Just received my confirmation: I’m a RYT 500 now! Huuuuuuhhhhh…. And you know what? It feels amazing. Yes, surprisingly different. My knowledge in terms of anatomy and Yoga philosophy increased a lot and finally settles in my head.

Today I teached first time since I’m back from India and my students mirrored why I love teaching so much. Their faces are adorable – I’m so grateful for getting so much back 🙂

What’s next? A Yoga shala in my garden for workshops? Yeah! Teach more classes in Yoga studios? Yep, I’m ready!

Hiphip hurrahhhhh!

India’s calling

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So excited! Am nearly on my way to India once again. Really can’t wait to be back, reunited with some of these amazing souls I know from last time. And open for new loving souls, walking a part of our individual journeys together. Challenging times for body and mind and I’m sure it will be a great experience.

Chasing myself to take it easy, stop aiming for perfection, but just flow, love, breathe and shine. Will be back in a month or so, eventually with a new certificate in my backpack 😉

Take care yogis!

There’s no way to rush the growth of a tree

Kathrin2 Comments

My Visa arrived! Huuurraahhhh! Just a couple of weeks and I’ll be back in India for the next level teacher training. This time I know the place, the teachers and it feels a bit like coming home. When looking at the pictures people are posting from there, it warms me up internally, I’m filled with gratitude and peace.

It will be once again a huge challenge, for body and mind. It will be life changing once again. And I’m looking forward to it!

I want to be prepared as best as I can. Meaning reading and doing my asana practice 6 days a week. I haven’t expected not being able to do so. Since some weeks, my body refuse any, well let’s say cooperation. A little injury here, issues there. Terrible pain forced me to leave the mat after some minutes recently. Interestingly it was quite similar last time before traveling to India. What stops me to prepare myself properly?

Hello ego. My ego is driving me. Telling me, „you must be fit. You must be better. You will fail when you’re not able to do at least these postures. You’re not good enough right now“.

Even if I’m usually practicing gentle, listening to my body, respecting the limitations of the day, I’ve got something sitting in my neck right now, pushing me with fear. My practice turned into mastering postures, instead of being a mindful flow.

So my main task right now is telling my ego to jump in the lake and implement the believe of ‚I am good enough exactly as I am‘. Practicing to release and let go, while accepting when my body says no. The best preparation seems either to pamper my body, instead of pushing hard.

This is what Krista Shirley, an authorized level II teacher of traditional Ashtanga yoga, advises Ashtanga practitioners (love no 3!):

  1. Love yourself where you are
  2. Don’t take yourself too seriously
  3. Go to India as soon as you can
  4. Don’t question; just do
  5. Take your day of rest each week
  6. Bring awareness to your latissimus dorsi muscles in nearly every asana. For women this is an especially vital understanding
  7. Wash your feet before you take practice, everyday

Be careful yogis, never work against your body. Feel what you’re doing, be mindful and treat yourself with love.

India, I’m ready.

What does yoga teach me?

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When I applied for my 200hrs teacher training, I didn’t expect to become a yoga teacher. My aim was to just fully immerse into all aspects of yoga. Jump into the sea of yoga, swim and dive, all day long, every day. I went to India full of fear and self-doubts – I’m too old, my asana practice is not good enough, I won’t pass the exam…. And finally I didn’t had much time to think about these doubts, I just did it. It was tough, but I enjoyed every single second. I came back as a teacher, teaching 2 classes per week since then. And I can’t believe it, I LOVE teaching.

Yes, I prepare my classes, but I allow myself to be flexible, add things or remove, change the plan on the ride, just following my students and the energy of the day. I surprised myself, I didn’t know that I can do this. I didn’t know that it’s easy to not comparing myself to other teachers, but just give the best I can and let it flow.

No, it’s not about having a huge experience, but a matter of confidence. Let love guide me, breathe, smile, get soft and just do whatever feels right in this moment. Then my mind is doing yoga. Priceless.

So, what does yoga teach me?

In 3 words: TO LET GO. Let go of everything. Expectations, limitations. Emptying myself and forget about everything I know. Because all my learnings are within, in my cells. They will guide me anyhow, without me even be aware of them. Allowing my knowledge, experience and intuition to merge; this is exactly what makes me act authentic, following my own truth.

By the way: this doesn’t stop when leaving the mat!

Yoga in all its gorgeousness has got me hooked. Going back to India next year for my 500hrs teacher training. Another chapter to start. Sooooo excited!